


Voicing My Concerns

by entanglednow



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Handcuffs, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 15:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/479891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entanglednow/pseuds/entanglednow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't believe you got us arrested."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Voicing My Concerns

"I can't believe you got us arrested. Haven't you had enough of getting arrested by now?"

" _You_ got us arrested, because you couldn't keep your mouth shut."

"I wasn't the one looking all naturally suspicious and threatening. I am not to blame for this."

"You are absolutely to blame for this."

"These bars look about a thousand years old. You could probably just smash your way out - oh don't look at me like that, I wasn't _asking_ you to bust us out. As if you need to be a fugitive in any more small towns. I was just saying you probably could if you wanted to. And stop with the eyebrows, and the glaring, this is at least fifty percent your fault. You have to do your thing, with the lurking, and the serial killer eyes, and the palpable air of menace and rage. How have you not learned subtlety by now? You're not Scott, you didn't come into all of this five minutes ago. Are you like this when you buy groceries too? Do you terrorize the helpless produce? Because I'm telling you, that's weird. You should probably stop doing it."

"Stiles, stop talking."

"I think you know me well enough by now to realise that being quiet in a high-stress environment isn't really my thing. We've been arrested, I'm sorry if this is not a good day for me."

"There are worse things we could have been arrested for."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know, murder, theft, kidnapping, desecration of a corpse, property damage, public indecency."

"We haven't done any - we haven't done _all_ of those things. Oh my God, we have, haven't we? We've done all of those things. What is my life now? What have you done to my life? Also, you're the one who was indecent, I was perfectly decent. I was just in the general vicinity of your indecency. And my dad let that one go due to the whole 'werewolf' thing. But he was still very traumatised, and you were naked. Do you know how hard that would have been to explain without the whole werewolf thing? My ability to think up a convincing lie on the spur of the moment is really only a fifty-fifty talent."

"Do you actually hear what comes out of your mouth?"

"There's chafing you know, I have obvious and incriminating wrist chafing. Is that a thing, with the handcuffs, do they snap them on that tight on purpose all the time, or am I special in some way? Because I'm chafed - in a way that looks really bad, and now I'll have to tell everyone I'm chafed because of sexual activities. Since the only other option is the truth, that I was arrested in the middle of nowhere, and 'adventurously kinky' still beats 'wanted criminal.' Do you think I could get away with adventurously kinky?"

"They can't keep us here, we haven't actually done anything, and you're sixteen. They're just making a point."

"Seriously, why? Contrary to what most people think you can't just arrest someone because you don't like the look of them. Or because they hurt your feelings."

"Or because they called you an asshole?"

"He _was_ an asshole."

"It was incitement to slap you in handcuffs. Your goddamn mouth, Stiles. What have I told you? I will gag you next time, I swear."

"Hey, I heard that, and you don't have to be here, Derek. You could have just taken off into the woods."

"No, I _couldn't_."

"Would you not growl like that, this isn't my fault. Besides it's not the first time you've been arrested. You're already shady and untrustworthy. This is the first time I've been arrested, officially arrested with the pushing and the handcuffing. I'm a criminal and my dad's going to be so disappointed he'll just explode into disappointed pieces all over the place. Could you just let me have a moment here."

"You're not a criminal. They're not even going to do paperwork. They're just going to sit out there for an afternoon, hoping we give them an excuse to charge us with something."

"Like what?"

"You're the one who was _clinging_ to me for the whole ride back to the station. What do you think?"

"I was not clinging, I was making sure you didn't flip out and maul them to death. Besides, what laws could we possibly break while locked in here alone together - why are you looking at me like I'm an idiot - oh. _Oh_."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Voicing My Concerns [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/541738) by [bessyboo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bessyboo/pseuds/bessyboo), [heard_the_owl (heardtheowl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heardtheowl/pseuds/heard_the_owl), [Jenepod](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenepod/pseuds/Jenepod), [paraka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paraka/pseuds/paraka), [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins)




End file.
